How to Interview Relatives About Family History (With 40 Questions)

A practical guide to interviewing older relatives about family history: how to prepare, how to record, and a ready list of 40 questions that open up memories.

Documents tell you when and where. Relatives tell you why, and they tell you things no archive ever recorded: nicknames, feuds, recipes, the reason the family left one village for another. An interview is the most valuable hour you can spend on your family history. Here is how to make it count.

Before the interview

• Ask permission to record. A phone voice recorder is enough. Nobody can write fast enough to keep up with a good story.
• Bring props. Old photographs, a rough chart, a map of the home region. A face in a photograph unlocks more memories than any question.
• Prepare, but do not script. Have a list of questions, then follow the conversation where it goes.
• Keep it short. One hour is plenty. Offer to come back; most people enjoy it and think of more between visits.

During the interview

Ask open questions that begin with tell me about rather than questions that can be answered with yes or no. Let silences happen. Repeat names back to check spelling. Write down the date, the place and who was present.

Forty questions to choose from

Childhood and home

1. Where were you born, and what was the house like?
2. Who lived in the household when you were small?
3. What did your parents do for a living?
4. What language was spoken at home?
5. What did a normal day look like?
6. What was your favourite food, and who cooked it?
7. What did you do on Sundays and holidays?
8. What was school like, and how far did you walk?

Parents and grandparents

9. What were your parents' full names, and did they have nicknames?
10. Where did they come from?
11. How did they meet?
12. What do you remember about your grandparents?
13. Did any relatives live far away or in another country?
14. Were there family stories about earlier generations?
15. Who was the oldest relative you ever met?

Places and moves

16. Did the family ever move, and why?
17. Which villages, towns or parishes are connected with the family?
18. Was there a family farm, shop or business?
19. Are any family graves still visited?

Events

20. How did the wars or political changes affect the family?
21. Did anyone emigrate, and did they write letters?
22. What were weddings like in the family?
23. Were there any twins, very large families or unusual births?
24. Did anyone die young, and how was it remembered?

Objects and records

25. Are there old photographs, and who is in them?
26. Does anyone keep letters, documents or a family Bible?
27. Is there an heirloom with a story?
28. Were there any family recipes written down?

People

29. Who was the storyteller of the family?
30. Who was considered the black sheep, and why?
31. Which relatives were you closest to?
32. Did anyone have a trade or skill they were known for?

Reflection

33. What traditions did you keep from your parents?
34. What has changed most since your childhood?
35. Is there something you wish you had asked your own parents?
36. Who else should I talk to?
37. What do you want your grandchildren to know about the family?
38. Which stories must not be forgotten?
39. Is there anything I have not asked about?
40. May I come back with more questions?

After the interview

Transcribe the recording while it is fresh. Add the facts to your tree and cite the interview as the source, with the date and the name of the person. Stories that do not fit into a date field go into the notes, and later into the family history book, where they belong.